Dad Jokes

The six stages of debugging: 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

A horse walks into a bar. "Hey", the Bartender says. "Sure", the horse replies.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!

Two C strings walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get ya?" The first string says "I'll have a gin and tonic." The second string thinks for a minute, then says "I'll take a tequila sunriseJF()#$JF(#)$(@J#()$@#())!*FNIN!OBN134ufh1ui34hf9813f8h8384h981h3984h5F!##@" The first string apologizes, "You'll have to excuse my friend, he's not null-terminated."

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea: How about we all get out of the car and get back in".

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Never date a baker. They're too kneady.

A byte walks into a bar looking miserable. The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?" "Parity error." it replies. "Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."